Stop Proposing on the First Date: How to Build a Marketing Funnel That Actually Converts
Would you propose to someone on the first date? No. You'd be a weirdo, right? So why are so many of us asking for the sale the very first time someone meets our business?
That's the whole idea behind a marketing funnel. It's not fancy, and I didn't invent it. But once you understand it, you'll stop wasting money talking to the right people at the wrong time.
What is a funnel, really?
Picture an upside-down triangle. The top is wide because that's where most people are – people who have never heard of you. As you move down, there are fewer people, but they know you, like you and trust you more. At the very bottom are the people ready to buy.
You'll hear it called a few different things:
Top of funnel (TOF / TOFU) – Awareness
Middle of funnel (MOF / MOFU) – Consideration
Bottom of funnel (BOF / BOFU) – Decision
Here's the thing most people miss: people don't move through it in a neat straight line. They jump between stages, they skip stages, they leave and come back. Your job isn't to drag them down the funnel. It's to meet them where they are.
Think about buying a handbag. First you browse five different stores (awareness). Then you find a brand you like and narrow it down to a few bags (consideration). Then you either buy now or wait for the sale (decision). Same person, three very different conversations.
Stage 1: Awareness – the curiosity stage
These are cold audiences. They don't know who you are, and they don't care about your story yet.
What to say: Why they need what you do. Lead with a benefit-driven hook and a pain point they'll recognise. Don't lead with the founder story here – save that for later.
What works: UGC-style video, educational content, organic social, and a low-barrier call to action like a free guide or a checklist.
What doesn't work: "50% off!" The most common mistake I see is decision-stage messaging aimed at people who are still in awareness. They don't know you yet. Why would they buy?
A note on budget: most small businesses can't afford to pay for the top of the funnel, and that's okay. I don't pay for it either. Use organic content to do the heavy lifting here and get people onto your website or your email list.
Stage 2: Consideration – building trust
Now they've visited your website, watched a video or opened an email. They're in your orbit.
What to say: Educate, nurture and build trust. This is where your founder story belongs, along with testimonials, client wins, behind-the-scenes and sneak peeks.
What works: Email welcome flows, webinars, free trials and community (for me, that's my Facebook group). Medium-barrier calls to action.
This is also where I put my ad spend. My ads only target the middle of the funnel – website visitors, my email list, people who've engaged on social, people who've watched my videos. As I like to say, I only want to pay for the people who are already at the door knocking to get in.
Stage 3: Decision – the final push
These are your warm and hot audiences. They know you, they like you, they just need a reason to act now.
What to say: Reassure them and overcome their objections. This is the only stage where you lead with features, offers and urgency – and please, create urgency without being cliché.
What works: Reviews right next to the add-to-cart button, fast shipping messages, offers and bonuses, abandoned cart emails, and retargeting ads to people who've been on your site.
And don't forget the people who have already bought. It is far easier to keep a customer than to find a new one. Post-purchase is a really untapped part of the funnel.
The touch points problem
It now takes around 22 touch points before someone buys. It used to be seven. That's not a rule written in stone, and it's not an excuse to spam people – but it tells you something important.
Unless you're going to sit and have coffee 22 times with the same person, you can't do this without digital. Your content, your emails and your ads all need to share the load.
And there's no timeline on trust. Someone in my community once messaged me to say, "I've been in your community for two years, but it's my first order." Two years! That's the funnel working.
A six-month tip for peak season
If you have big sales periods – EOFY, Black Friday, tax time – start six months before. Do lots of top and middle of funnel nurturing, build your email list, and then retarget those people when ads get expensive.
The last time I ran a sale, I turned my ads off completely, then spent $100 a day for three days right before the sale. My audience was already primed. That's the power of building the funnel first.
Every funnel leaks
People leave the funnel all the time. That's normal. What matters is having ways to pull them back in – your email list, your retargeting, your community. Paid ads at the top of the funnel are the fastest way to fill it, but they're also the most fickle. Community is slower, but those people stay longer and spend more.
Your next step
Grab a piece of paper and draw your triangle. For each stage, write down:
Who is there?
What do they need to hear from you?
What content or channel gets it to them?
What's the next small step you want them to take?
If you only have content for the bottom of the funnel, you've found your problem. If you only have content for the top, you've found your opportunity.
Ads won't fix a funnel that doesn't exist. Ads will always amplify what's already working – so build the funnel first.
This article is based on webinars originally delivered as part of the Digital Solutions program. For more, explore the full Collab Co Academy.
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